Okay, so I committed to sharing my emotions once in a while online.
So, in a breakthrough effort I actually let myself laugh out loud at my husband's ridiculous jokes Thursday night. He was delighted by that. Then yesterday I was feeling quite aggravated about something his mother said. She is a very nice and wonderful woman, and I know she didn't mean anything by it, and I started to just push the feeling aside. It wasn't a logical emotion, though it was very strong.
Then I remembered my commitment to feeling emotion (boy what an author will do to get better at her craft). So, I let myself cry (in front of my husband even) and get upset and refuse to go to the family gathering. My poor husband had a heart attack. Where was the nice, even-tempered woman he'd spent the last 16 years with? I reminded him that we had talked about my expressing my emotions, and that I was choosing to do so. He loosened up a bit, kissed me goodbye and went off to the family thing without me.
I stayed home, cleaned up my house, and read a book called Heaven Scent by Rebecca Talley, a deeply religious book for the Mormon audience about a girl whose mother and brother die in a car crash. The book was soothing, and I enjoyed it. I felt tons better after cleaning and reading and slept very well last night.